Gossip lovers have a
great time ahead. Gossip is an age-old form of human
communication which serves as an early-warning system to alert the group of
events that may happen and prepares the ground. Why do people engage in gossiping? What do
they gain from it? Do only women do it?
A new study claims that the act of
keeping a secret exerts not only an emotional toll, but also physical damage. According
to new research from Columbia Business School, keeping a secret is similar to
carrying physical weight which can sap you of your energy.
As part of the study, scientists
performed a series of experiments to assess the effect secrets had on a
subject's ability to judge the steepness of a hill. Those
that dubbed their secrets as preoccupying judged the hill to be steeper than it
actually was. A secret can preoccupy your mind
and the more you think about it, the more you use personal, intellectual and
motivational resources. 'This is the same kind of outcome we see when
people are carrying physical burdens, seeing the world as more challenging,
forbidding and extreme,' added Slepian, an adjunct assistant professor of negotiations at
Columbia Business School and co-author of the study.
The defined a
preoccupying secret as one that causes daily concern and may be related to more
serious life-altering issues like money, sexual orientation or a health
concern, the researchers said. According to the study, one of the best ways to
gain back your productivity is to simply get the burden off of your chest. He
said it's important to remember that revealing the secret to the wrong person
could do more harm than good. For those without a confidant, anonymous hotlines
provide a way to reveal the secret, while keeping your identity a secret.
Another option if you
cannot state the secret out loud is to simply write it down. For example,
posting the secret on an online message board or a website that shares
submissions confidentially, or hand writing the secret in a personal journal
can help, the researchers added. Either way, Slepian argues there may be both
physical and psychological benefits to getting a secret off your chest.
It’s believed that gossiping is a woman thing. But modern men cannot keep a secret.
Researchers found that, contrary to the assumption that women can't wait to
spill the beans, it is men who are first to pass on confidential information.
Thanks to social media, men no longer wait to see their mates in the pub and
typically share a secret within three hours. While almost half of men admit to
passing on the information within minutes of first being told about it, women
will keep it to themselves for at least three and a half hours before passing
it on.
Gossiping
can also be therapeutic, the volunteers' heart rates appeared to increase when
hearing gossip, but lowered again once they passed on the information to
someone else. A problem shared is a problem halved indeed. When you indulge in
this so called ‘futile’ act of gossiping, you will soon realise that your
stress is reducing and a new energised you will be ready to take up a fresh
round of activities. When you think about a secret, you use
up motivational resources. This can drain you energy and make simple tasks appear
difficult. Telling
a secret to someone you trust can help restore motivation.
Used properly, gossip
can actually help us learn more about ourselves, better gauge our position in
society and possibly protect ourselves from harm. By
hearing about the misadventures of others, we may not make the same mistake. Positive
gossip, about people doing something well, had “self-improvement value” for
participants, as an example of how they themselves could do better.The negative
gossip had increased self-promotion value and self-protection concerns.When
you gossip for social bonding, share information that uplifts and inspires
people. That means gossip is an integral part of our
communication. But always remember some secrets
are better left untold.
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